Some Mighty Desperate Men Out There

Back in 1998 and 1999, when I first forayed into the world of cyber-relationships, the waters were pretty calm. Just prior to that, God had spoken to me very clearly that He had a marriage partner picked out for me. If you know my history at all, you realize how out of the blue that was.

Back in my late 20s, God had given me an unshakeable contentment in my singleness and an ability to see my single years, be they temporary or permanent, as a huge gift for knowing Him, loving Him and serving Him. So, in my 40s, when I came back from one of my longer short-term missions ventures and asked Him what His next "project" was for me, marriage was totally off the radar. There wasn't anyone even remotely on the horizon. But, just like I'd known God was speaking when He led me in various other aspects of my life, I knew He was speaking about marriage to me now. All I had to do now was wait and see how this whole thing transpired.

That's when I started "testing the waters" in Christian chat rooms, where I met a lot of terrific people -- both guys and gals -- most of them very serious about the Lord and who enjoyed sharing where God had them right now and where He might be taking them. I even met a few guys who became great friends and one of them turned out to be my husband.

After my husband died, I got involved again with a few singles ministries in our area. I was in no hurry to meet anyone. The contentment I'd always had in the single life returned. I hosted a bible study for singles in my home and just enjoyed my life. Six years later, with a growing desire to live nearer my mom and siblings, I moved back home.

I loved being with all of them, but it also started creating a longing in me for another spouse. Since I'd "found love" once before via the Internet, I tried plying those waters once again. What I found totally shocked me. No longer was I meeting people who were willing to get to know people at a normal pace. I was meeting some very desperate men. Guys who chatted with you for just a couple of hours and "bing, bang, boom", they were professing undying love. I'd have chalked it up to "just one wierdo" if it happened only once. But it happened to me three different times! And each one of them was as intensely "overboard" as the one before them. Very strange...and very sad.

I'm sure that not all men, or all women, who are in the "singles looking for a mate" category are as "marked" as the ones I met were, nor am I going to advise every person reading this to stay away from Internet relationships. For me, however, and for now, I'm going back to my contented single life. If and when God decides to bring me another spouse (and I really don't care, one way or the other; I really am content just being with Him), I'll let Him do the nudging, the leading and the guiding. Until then, desperados, stay away from my door!