Tuesday, October 6, 2015
I am in such pain today. It seems no matter what I do in a given situation, I do not measure up. I cannot go into detail, but I can say that I have tried everything I can think of to resolve the situation and have decided there is just no way to reach a resolution. For those who would advise me to pray, to trust God, I am doing both, and I know that He has my back. That does not keep me from feeling excruciating emotional pain sometimes because of what I am enduring. Some days, I wish I could just walk away from the whole thing but, for a variety of reasons, that would not be advisable. It's not because I'm afraid. It's not because I don't have personal strength. It just is wiser to endure the pain for a while yet. Still, the pain sometimes feels unbearable. I am so sick of this situation and how it makes me feel. I am exhausted from the trial.
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Nope, you can't measure up. It's just not in you. You are too weak, too vulnerable, too imperfect. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteBut it's not the measure of the person who's judging you who counts. It's the measure of God's mercy. God's mercy which is deeper and wider and more exceedingly vast than we could ever imagine. You are still tiny, and imperfect compared to that mercy. But it accepts you and tells you that you are plenty. More than enough.
Stop measuring yourself by those who judge you and measure yourself instead by God's love. And let the chips fall where they may. If that's not good enough for some, oh well.