Most of the time, I consider myself an extrovert. Fairly outgoing. Energized by being with other people. Easily able to converse with strangers.
Then there are days like today when I just want to hunker down in the quietest place I can find, as removed as possible from the chaos and babble of the world around me, and soak in the solitude.
And what a lovely soaking it was. Nothing intense, mind you. No deep delving into the Word of God, with my notebook and pen on my right hand and a stack of bible commentaries on my left. (Please don't read anything into the fact that the commentaries are on my left; it's just that I'm quite decidedly right handed and, when I'm seriously dug into bible study, I want my pen in hand, ready to jot down whatever the Lord happens to say to me. Consider it, if you will, an illustration of the "pen of the ready writer". Today wasn't that kind of day, however.)
Today was simply a relaxed time of meandering of the mind, briefly touched by a moment of prayer via IM with a pastor I didn't know but who clearly touched the hem of His garment for me, as tears flowed nearly unstoppable down my face and God touched my heart to its very core. Deep inside, I could feel the Holy Spirit tenderly massaging the week's wear and tear from my soul, as He gently hugged the worn out child within. Lightly, I brushed aside the salty rivulets from my cheeks, as I meditated on how sensitive the Savior was to my bruised heart and spirit. "A bruised reed He will not break," I thought to myself, as the hint of a smile turned my lips slightly upward. Then I spoke. "Dear Lord, it is true. You always understand me, always know what I need, and are sensitive enough not to force Yourself upon me, but to wait upon me for my moment of willingness and to gently part the fragile leaves of my soul, pouring into them, as slowly as I need you to do, the water of Your Word."
Thank you, Lord, for knowing that I am not always the loud and raucous party girl, making her friends and co-workers laugh uproariously, but also the fragile and sensitive flower of a woman, who still needs her Man to care, to listen, to caress.
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Isn't it wonderful how deeply honest you can be in your private time with God without incrimination. I, too, can be the "life" of the party but when it comes to those insecurities I wouldn't think of sharing with anyone else, then there is God. He knows the deepest and the most secretive place in me, so, who am I kiding if I hide them from Him. There is nothing like being in the shadow of His wing. What peace. What joy. Thanks for the blog. We are all very human...aren't we!
ReplyDeleteAmen and amen, Theresa. Praise the Lord that we are safer in His presence than anywhere else in this world. In the next, we will always be in His presence. What a way to live!
ReplyDeleteJesus sees me on the toilet! That, in itself, speaks volumes!
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